IF YOU CAN'T STAND THE HEAT,
GET AWAY FROM THE GREY-HAIRED WOMAN....

.....and if you can't cope with salty language, today is not your day to go skinny-dipping in Winefred's Well.

Time out from frothing about the Democratic candidates to assess the situation for the Republicans.

Kathy Shaidle (give her some money -- she's getting sued by Canadian fascists) has contributed what is probably the best of the "think positive" JOHN MCCAIN alternative campaign slogans:

"I don't know much about economics, but I did stay at the Hanoi Hilton once."

Very charitable of Kathy.

Here are some less positive, less charitable slogans (from IMAO), and one Consummate Redneck Triage Assessment (Hat-tip: Ms. Malkin @ HOT AIR).

MCCAIN:

---You hate him; he hates you; now lets kick some foreigner ass.

---He'll screw over terrorists even more than he screws over Republicans.

---Today's challenges require the leadership of a cranky old bastard.

---You think he cares what you blog? He didn't care when the Vietnamese were torturing him.

---If there's one issue you need your candidate to be right about, it's Iraq (which luckily is the only issue McCain is right about).

---McCain '08: The comeback grandpa!

---McCain. The Vietnam War isn't over until HE says it's over.

---McCain '08: Because the Path to Citizenship Runs Right Through Your Backyard

---We could do worse. Not much worse, but worse.

---McCain. Because these times call for blinding fits of white-hot rage.


AND JUST TO MAKE SURE THE LEVEL OF DISCOURSE DOESN'T GET TOO TOO ELEVATED--
Red State Update, comin' your way.