THIS JUST IN:

FIVE MILLION ILLEGAL ALIENS HOLD WORTHLESS SUB-PRIME MORTGAGES
-- AND THEY GOT THEM WITHOUT FUDGING A SINGLE QUESTION THEIR APPLICATIONS!

[Major-league hat-tip to Rush Limbaugh]

No surprises here. But remember, fellow-citizens and allies in the Western World (who stood in Berlin and cheered the Man-Child), when your portfolio and retirement funds are shadowy cookie jars with crumbs in the bottom, that this program was made possible by your friends in the American Democratic Party (with strategic assistance of handful of their 'friends across the aisle'), dating back to the Days of Malaise in Jimmuh Carter's 1970's.

THIS JUST IN from Journalist-to-the-World and boy genius MARK STEYN:

Cells taken from men's testicles seem as versatile as the stem cells derived from embryos.

Not mentioned in the article: Lewis and Clark, Giovanni Caboto, Christobal Colon, Marco Polo, and the Franklin Expedition have been drafted to go out in search of a race of men with the requisite resources.....


Read the rest here. Try not to squirm.